The hand of friendship - a cautionary tale

When we moved here it was a bit of a challenge finding out exactly what to pack to move and where to go for what once we arrived. There just isn't a good company network set up where everyone can share their experience and tips on living in Perth. So I promised Mike that I would try my best to help out the next people moving over. The next couple recently arrived and while they are pretty self sufficient, I did want to make the effort to meet the wife (Joan) and help with their settling in however possible. So last week we took them out to dinner one evening and then my pal Robbie and I invited Joan to join us on an expedition to the Darling Ranges to look at more wild flowers. Joan graciously accepted...but I expect she won't be eager to volunteer to join any of our schemes again! Our plan was to head up to the Darlington area to a park I'd noticed in a prior expedition, wander around a bit, take a few photos, have a nice lunch, and head back to Perth by 2PM. Robbie and Joan arrived at my place around 9:30AM, we loaded up in my car, and off we went. We navigated perfectly to the park about 50 minutes from the house, found our way to a parking lot, and we were off. There were a number of cryptic signs pointing in various directions including two indicating scenic waterfalls in opposite directions. We decided to head for the one 600meters away first. Off we went, following a lovely stream, until the path narrowed and the stream turned to a mere trickle. We hadn't seen any fabulous waterfall after some time so decided to turn around. We headed back and decided to make for the OTHER falls about 1km away. This one, we found. So yay it was all good, most scenic, photos were taken, etc. But on our way back there was a sign for a wild flower trail. Given our mission of seeing flowers, we peeled off and started walking...and walking...and walking. Yes, there were flowers. But it turned out not only was the path poorly marked but it was also 6 km long (nearly 4 miles). And then we got kind of lost too. At one point we finally ran into another person and asked directions. He was no help but did express his concern at our plight and informed us that people DO get lost up there and we just might possibly be doomed. Eventually, approaching 12:30PM we finally stumbled upon that first darn waterfall we'd been aiming for. There were two couples there who we asked for directions - they pointed vaguely but since they both pointed in the same direction, we headed that way. 20 minutes later we finally spotted something we recognized and managed to make it to the car, panting, thirsty, hungry, and somewhat befuddled. We made it to Darlington Estates vineyards after 1:30 for lunch and ordered a full round of restorative liquid (sparkling wine). Even Robbie drank a glass and I've never seen her drink wine. Fortunately lunch was excellent, there was wine to taste, and the staff were super nice and friendly. We didn't get Joan back home till after 4PM. She was polite about the whole thing but I could imagine the conversation at home that evening. "You know what those damn women made me do? We walked for hours, no water, no bathrooms, no food. I will NEVER go anywhere with them again!" So next time some well meaning people invite you along for an 'adventure', think long and hard. You may be in for way more than you bargained for. We did get some photos: